One Woman’s Journey to Healing With Kirsten Book, PMHNP-BC.
Sixteen years ago, I didn’t realize I was fighting two battles at once. I don’t think my psychiatrist put the pieces of the puzzle together either.
For years, I thought my struggle with bulimia was just about control, low self esteem, my lack of willpower, “stop the purging,” or “just follow the meal plan.”
I didn’t understand why I could hold it together in many areas of my life, but completely lose it in others.
What I didn’t understand then: I was also living with undiagnosed ADHD
The impulsivity
The emotional overwhelm
The all-or-nothing thinking
The constant mental noise
Bingeing wasn’t just about food.
It was about relief from the overwhelm, restlessness, the constant internal noise of ADHD.
Numbing
Dopamine
And the shame that followed? That just fed the cycle
Getting clarity didn’t magically fix everything. But it changed how I see myself and how I see my patients
I stopped asking, “Why can’t I just have more discipline?”
And started asking, “What do I actually need right now to feel regulated and supported?”
I’m still learning. Still unlearning. Still healing. And thankfully, now, educating my patients and the mental health community
But now I know this:
I was never broken. I was misunderstood and misdiagnosed
And that changes everything!
